


stuck between a still and a hard place

by subjectiveobjection



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 02:44:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19820914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subjectiveobjection/pseuds/subjectiveobjection
Summary: hawkeye and trapper set to building the still.





	stuck between a still and a hard place

“Y’know what would make this hellhole bearable?” Trapper asks.

“Leaving it?” Hawkeye replies, scraping the majority of his food off his plate into a trash bin. “‘Cause otherwise, I’ve got no goddamn clue.”

“Alcohol,” Trapper says.

Hawkeye turns and looks at Trapper. “Where the hell are you gonna find alcohol?”

“We could build a still.”

“Do you even know  _ how _ to build a still?”

“Built one with my buddy in college. The first one blew up, but the second one lasted all through med school.”

“You’re not exactly inspiring confidence.”

“Well, lemme tell you, that liquid courage sure came in handy a few times, especially with that particular buddy,” Trapper says with a wink.

_ Not a bad idea, _ Hawkeye muses. “Should I be jealous?” he asks, raising his eyebrows and smirking.

“Not unless you wanna be jealous of a guy who dropped out of med school to become an actor and who’s now raking in cash like nobody’s business,” Trapper says, a faraway look in his eyes. “He probably makes enough to buy Frank’s house every year.”

“I actually do wanna be jealous of him.”

“Well, that’s your own business.”

Hawkeye snorts. “Okay, so how do we go about building a still?”

Trapper turns and grins at him. “First we gotta bribe Radar.”

…

“Gee, I dunno,” Radar says, very obviously pretending to be lost in thought. “I’d need something… something like a box of Mrs. McIntyre’s fudge, if I were to get you all that stuff.”

Hawkeye looks at Trapper and raises his eyebrows, and Trapper grins. “Done.”

_ “And _ you two gotta buy me Grape Nehis from Rosie for a month.”

“Now  _ that’s _ something tough,” Hawkeye says.

“Or you could just spend that money and more every time you two want a drink,” Radar says.

“Oh, you’re a fink,” Trapper says halfheartedly.

“Hey! That’s not real nice!”

“Wow, I never knew someone’s ears could turn red that fast,” Hawkeye remarks. “We’ll do it.”

Radar looks as if he doesn’t know whether to be indignant or happy. “Wha- okay, I’ll get you your things.”

…

Building a still is harder than Hawkeye imagined it would be, but after a week of intermittent work, they finally finish it. “I think we’re done,” Trapper says.

The joy that Hawkeye feels is unrivalled. “You serious?”

“Yep. Unless you wanna wrap some foil on top and have it blow up soon,” Trapper says.

Hawkeye casts a quick glance around before taking Trapper’s face and kissing him. It’s quick, barely more than a peck on the lips, but it leaves Hawkeye feeling as warm as if he’s taken a shot. “We did it!” he crows, Trapper grinning at him.

“Let’s test it out!”

They grab two of the martini glasses that Radar had scored for them and pour themselves a drink. “To a job well done,” Hawkeye says, raising his glass.

“To an escape from this damn war,” Trapper says, raising his own.

They clink their glasses against each others’, and then they take a sip.

Hawkeye screws his face up. “Oh, that’s horrible.”

“Jesus H. Christ,” Trapper says. “Seriously. I never knew alcohol could taste this bad.”

“That’s- that’s like paint thinner,” Hawkeye says. He blinks a few times, takes a deep breath, and readies himself for another gulp. “Cheers.”

**Author's Note:**

> tysm for reading! kudos/comments/criticism is always appreciated :)))


End file.
